Diario de betsyhiner, 18 jul. 10

So, i'm going to admit it. I'm discouraged. Not so much that i gained back 5 pounds (of which i've already lost 2 of them again) but that i keep seeing recent pictures of myself and i'm HATING it. I've lived without a mirror for so long that i have no idea what i really look like so i kind of have this opposite effect on myself. I used to think that i didn't look so big because i didn't feel big. I didn't pay attention to what size my jeans were because i honestly didn't feel like i looked that big. But i do.
I can't tell if i have a big frame or not, i might, but i recently saw pictures that were candidly snapped of me during my last 5K and they were not at all flattering. How long have i looked like this?? It's so hard to keep going when i feel like what i have done has not made a difference. I am nearly 20 pounds down since March but how many more is it going to take before i don't look huge anymore. Are 30 more really going to be enough?
I'm going to keep running. It's how i lost the first 20 and hopefully it will be how i continue losing more. I really wish that i was happier and i know that 3 months is not a long time but i really feel that there should be less of me now than when i started getting into this seriously. I'm so tired of being fat.

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1285 kcal

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3207 kcal

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