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It's up a little..TOM starts soon! I don't care at all!!!
120 is great. I am happy with the way things have been going. It's so weird, sometimes I forget to eat though!!! Like, I get hungry, but wait a little longer, then don't feel hungry again until I am about to fall over! I don't like it when that happens too well. This week has been crazy though, I have been running around nonstop with babaysitting and teachin vacation bible school. Thank goodness it's over and things can get back to normal!
I feel I am doing well with this new way of eating/thinking.
Instead of focusing on absolutes(I must NEVER eat when I am not hungry!) or rules, I am focusing on progress and giving myself a pat on the back when I need it! Yes I can eat whatever I want, and I have been, but I would like to really try to get in more fruit and veg. It is not just about what tastes good, but what makes your body feel good afterwards. I have been doing ok, but more green stuff wouldnt hurt. For breakfast at 9:30I had a danish and 1/2 banana(and left several bites of both on the plate!), didn't get hungry again until 3 pm, when I had imitation crab, salad, and a scoop of ice cream, then ate again at 8:30, a bowl of fiber one and cracklin oat bran(something I have avoided for years beacuse of the calories!) with soy milf and a spoonful of peanut butter. I slipped up a bit this evening, mainly becaue I was eating distracted, because I am babaysitting my newborn neice, and you just TRY to enjoy your food and eat slowly while listening to a baby scream! So I ate all the cereal, although I felt physically satisfied, I wanted something more. Specifically, sugar. I went back and forth a feww minutes to decide, do I really want to eat anything else. I decided to go ahead and have a little something, but only after she was calm so I could enjoy it. I did not eat myself sick or even uncomfortably full, but I knew I was giving myself food Imy body was not calling for. But you know what? I feel so free now because I no longer a,m doing the black and white thinking. I didn't eat and eat and eat to feed the feelings of stress, then guilt on top of it. Once she was calm, I had five covered malt balls, about a tbs of chocolate chips, about 10 jellybeans and
a fudgsicle. Not great considering I wasn't hungry anymore, but nothing compared to the bingeing I was doing. I'ts not a binge if you are in control and aware. I ate each peice slowly, noticing that it was not as enjoyab;e as it would be if I had hunger signals, but it WAS calming my nerves somewhat, so I allowed it. And I'm ok with that! I'm not feeling bloated and full to the top. I know I probably wont be hungry for breakfast now, but that's the trade-off isnt it? Well I have to go, baby needs me..chat later. Sorry I haven't been here, I've missed ya'll! Bye now!
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