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agirlfromminnesota
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01 nov. 10
Diario de agirlfromminnesota, 01 nov. 10
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I need to remember to take some progress photos. I did some photos back in January, and some in the spring and some in July but none since I have gotten under 300. Still not used to thinking that. Or writing it. Especially at the gym when you enter your weight in the machine so it calculates calories burned I keep putting 3.. Speaking of the gym though. I wish I had more time, I would love it if I could go a couple days more a week. Yesterday I completely found this zone that I don't recall being in before without being emotionally driven. It was so peaceful and I was working out at a pace that was really good and not feeling that pain/exertion usually I associate with having to push myself. Though I did try a new stretch and I pushed it too far and now my back is all wrong. Cannot wait to see my bf tonight so my back can be rubbed back into place.
I wish I could figure out what my ultimate goal with this is. Usually I lose 20 lbs and am satisfied and give up. And I know this time is different because I am not at all satisfied, and get dissappointed in myself when I over induldge but I havent given up yet :) The thing is. I know its not the idea of being skinny that is driving me. Because honestly I feel comfortable being big it is the only thing I have ever known and it is what protects me from the unknown but it is also what has been my excuse. I want to be healthy and I want to feel comfortable and I don't want to be afraid/anxious about so much. I know alot of me doing this also has to do with the baby want. I try not to think of it because it is so much more complicated than just losing the weight.. but when I feel like giving up lately that is what keeps me going. That possibility. I guess that will do for now.
Happy things from this weekends shopping--new jeans and new dress in my new size 22. :) And we went winter boot shopping and I actually fit into some boots that wouldnt have fit my calf if I hadnt lost that weight. That felt good. Still in search for winter boots still have huge calves and ankles but I am getting there.
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Congratulations! Everything sounds like it's going really well for you and you sound happy. Progress is what keeps us going and isn't it so great to go shopping for that smaller size. Good luck on your continuing journey!
01 nov. 10 por el miembro:
kmg3366
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