I want my life back. It's not about the number. It's about the pants size for me. Size 7-8.......... that could be a lot of numbers. All women are different. Size, shape, how many kids we had, I don't want to be fake. I will always look like I had kids, but I can tone it up and feel better. If I feel better about myself......maybe him and I will be better. I know he must hate me sometimes, that is my fault. I don't like myself very much. I want him to want me again..... and not just for that..LOL. I love my husband very much,together 16 years.