Diario de KrisMTL

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10 agosto 2010

A history of how I had gotten fat, my tribulations, and how I got to where I am today.

I'm currently 26 years old, male, from Montreal, Canada. I am 6'4", athletic, but not necessarily an ahtletic build. I used to be on every sports team in high school, but in college I made none of the teams due to the vast amount of people trying out from so many high schools. There ended my scholastic sports career. After that i just didn't really exercise much.

After a couple of years in college I had reached the weight of 272 lbs. and was also dealing with stress in my life; work, school, finances. This all climaxed in a panic attack which left me in the hospital, on anti depressants, and alone. My recovery took a couple of years, couple with therapy and anti depressants. I had gotten to a stable weight of 220 lbs. due to mild exercise (biking)and healthy food choices, and was feeling a lot better.

About a year after that I realized that maybe the career choice I had made wasn't the right one for me. I slipped back into a depression and ended up in a lifestyle that involved highly fat/sugar/processed foods and video games. After a few years of this self-destructive lifestyle, I had enough. I couldn't walk long distances, it hurt my ankles and left me out of breathe. I found myself not even enjoying what I ate, i just ate it because these tasty foods filled a void in me. They comforted me when things went wrong, they didn't tell me I was a failure, or that I wasn't good enough for someone or something.

That is when i had ceased to play video games and stated a rigorous exercise regime. I had went from 272 lbs to 200 lbs. All over the course of a summer. I was tone, fit, happy. I did have a small amount of loose skin, but I think that was a given because I had lost weight so fast. It didn't seem to bad, but it made me wonder if I lost more weight and got my body fat % lower that I would look disgusting, even worse than just being chubby, with that loose skin hanging there. This is when something terrible happened. I gave up.

I had given up because I thought to myself, "Why even bother anymore? I want this rock hard hot bod, and now there's no hope, you're just going to have this saggy skin there." I didn't go into a big depression, was just defeated and discouraged. I went back to college to graduate, and just ate whatever I wanted. I went through the year and gained back most of the weight. Until the spring semester when I would graduate. A friend and I decided to become gym buddies.

There was a fairly good gym about a 20 min bus ride from my house, "Pro Gym", in Montreal East. It was a very good gym overall, and with a student discount the price was acceptable. It was great to have motivation, with my friend Joyce by my side. We would go every single night after class or work, do at least 30 mins to an hour cardio, then free weights/machines, then finish with 15-30 mins cardio. I was eating the right foods and was on the right track. This was all well and good until the end of the semester. I had felt like almost fainted during a class presentation/was having a mild panic attack. I had learned how to deal and accept my panic attacks, from my past experiences, but I was still almost unable to function, so I went to the nurse's office.

It was the same issue, stress. I never even thought of stress as a factor to bad health, ever. But here it was, in my life, bringing me down. I ate right, exercised, slept well... what was I to do? I was defeated again, by stress. I didn't totally give up this time. I had stopped going to the gym to try and save time to spend on writing my papers that were due. I also stopped eating, the worrying and stress of graduating was making me sick, among other issues in my life. In the end I graduated, with honours. It was a sweet victory, a long time coming. I did have to take a summer course to get my last credit, which was in nutrition.

The course was great, I was still in good shape from the spring training I did, so I was sort of using the class as an ego boost. I would stomp everyone's trial times and weight requirements, and show off about nutritional information I knew when the teacher would ask questions about food or the human body. This high was short lived, though. At my 24th birthday I was at a high, but faltered. I was back down to 211 lbs., pretty muscular and had got a hipster haircut and whitened my teeth. I was looking good on that day, but there was still something that ate away at me, the loose skin. I so desperately wanted to have abdominals that showed, without a flab of skin hanging with them. I gave up again. It's a vicious circle of self hate, and it was my life.

The next half a year was spent eating my hate, literally. When I used to eat junk food, or snack during gaming I would eat chips, soda, pizza, candy, whatever. This time was different. I would buy the highest fat food, highest sugar, highest anything. I wanted to punish myself, hurt myself, maybe even kill myself. Instead of spending $15 on food runs I would spend $30+. So for half a year I did this, just wishing for it to end. Then I went to Vegas and got an iphone.

It's funny, Vegas and an iphone? yeah, these material goods made me feel good. I was never into materialism, mainly because I thought it was wrong, and partly because I never could afford it. But having a fun gadget like an iphone made me feel better, and got my mind of food. Then i went to Vegas with 2 of my best friends, and I had a good time. Spending money was fun. So that replaced my eating, spending.

I had started to spend money on random things to make myself feel better, until I had run up some mild debt. I hit a wall again and went back to eating, my life was in disarray. So I decided, since my diploma wasn't getting me where i wanted it to, I would go back to school and get some pre-requisites done for something I would like and would set me up for a good life, financially and emotionally. I liked to help people and had wanted to be a nurse since high school, but people kept telling me I wouldn't succeed, thanks guidance counsellors! "oh, you should be a cook, or word in a vocation like wood working." really? that's not me, sorry. I went back to school and decided that if i were to be a nurse i should live a healthy lifestyle and promote a healthy lifestyle, if I was to work in the health field.

So I started to eat healthy and exercise during the winter semester, but it turned out to be a tough challenge. School every day, waking up at 6am, going to bed at 10-11pm (after I had gone to sleep at 3am or later for years). Working out, eating less and properly, studying, working weekends to make ends meet financially. Wow, I didn't expect all of this. I last a couple of months, but then crash landed. I had gotten most of the nuclear and ionic phenomena material done, but I dropped out at electric phenomena, advanced chem, and I was still missing physics and advanced math. I just found it was all too much. I escaped to Toronto for the better part of a week and just spend a ton of cash and ate/drank my worries away. I got back and was in my vicious cycle again. Eat to hate, and hate to live.

Until I watched a video, "meet your meat". I was reading up on how to live healthy, as I was going to try and live a healthy lifestyle, again, for the 50th time. I saw this video and was disgusted to my core. How could we treat animals, living things, this way? It was repulsive to see us slave and torture, kill and eat, these other species. I was just blindly stuffing this food into my mouth because it's presented to nicely to us. I was distraught and decided to become vegetarian. I went to the grocery store the next day and bought a whole bunch of new foods, even dairy. Then that same night I saw PETA's "Land O' Lakes" dairy industry video, and the what the dairy and egg industry animals had to go to broke my heart, and then they went to slaughter after all that hardship anyways. I was vegan, from that moment on. I then found the website veggieboards.com , where I met a bunch of vegetarians and vegans with the same views as I did, and a whole lot of information, tips, advice and support in making the lifestyle change from omnivore to vegan.

I have lived a vegan lifestyle since about March until probably now (August). I had went from about 250lbs. to 220 lbs. in just a month or two, from March to April. It gets complicated at about this point. I had started to train with the P90X system, doubles, and it was going really well, and I was eating wholesome, vegan foods. Then I sort of went off course when I met someone. I had stopped working out because we would spend a lot of time together and I became disorganized. I would stop eating my strict low fat/sugar diet to try some very good vegan delicacies she would prepare, because she was vegan as well and very good at making spectacular vegan food.

Fast forward to a couple of months later, August 2010. I had a rough time in July because this beautiful vegan and I had parted ways, so I had some junkish foods, like chips and soda and candy. I had also made some mistakes on my vegan journey, eating things that contained animal products, sometimes without even knowing until you read a label and notice how a by-product snuck in. Now, why am I choosing August 9th 2010 as my final stand against being miserable and overweight? It's a sad reason.

My father had a heart attack two weeks ago, followed with a near diabetic coma. He is stable now, but he did have coronary artery angioplasty done to fix a couple of clots. Other clots are under observation, and he also got a stent installed for one of the clots. This was a harsh wake up call. a pillar of immortality and strength, struck down because of his poor lifestyle choices, junk food and zero exercise, with high stress. Exactly what I keep inflicting on myself. So I have decided that this is the final stand, it's now or never. My father is doing better, and with my vegan lifestyle I am able to offer him healthy alternatives. We threw out all the junk food and he is eating properly portioned, healthy meals. He's enjoying it so far, and it's nice to see him loose weight and look happier.

As for myself, I have decided to study nutrition. I have read so many books and websites about veganism and nutrition, and I really think it's the path I want to make a career in. I don't know if I can change the world, but I'll try. It's unrealistic for the entire world to be fed and be vegan, it's my utopia, but I'll do all I can. Starting to with getting back to school in a couple of weeks, and back to college next Fall, and hopefully followed by univeristy (preferably McGill, where i can do a Masters).

Why am I on fatsecret? Well this beautiful vegan had mentioned/talked about it, and I had went on the site to have a look around. I just made an account and forgot about it. This time, though, I wanted better tools to tackle weight loss. I always wrote journals and logs, both on paper and on the computer, but it was messy and I would get lazy. Here on fatsecret, the interface is very nice. I love how it moderates the carbs/proteins/fat ratio, which is amazing. It also let's us upload entire meals, recent items when we fill out meals and snack sections, it's great. One thing I would like to change is possibly adding in meal times, if it's possible can someone let me know? Also more meals/snacks sections, not just one huge section for all my snacks, I'd like to spread them out between meals, it helps visually.

I also try to do cardio when I can, I had done biking and jogging the last few days, but my tweaked my knee yesterday on my way out, and my other knee is a bit sore (maybe I'm not used to this much exercise, so my joints need to heal up a bit?) But I am ready to make a change, for real this time.

Come with my on my journey, let's make a difference. Let's make the world a better, and healthier place! (and possibly vegan!) :)

Take care and thanks for stopping by.

Much love and success,

Kris

(2 comentarios)

10 agosto 2010

Making the right choices of food is making a huge difference.
It's hard to find flavours while being a vegan, but that's not necessarily true. There's no need to use trans fat/palm oil filled tasters like fake mayo, fake butter/margarine, unhealthy oils, etc. There are plenty of spice combinations and natural food combinations and food juices that can be used to create more healthful and balanced meals.

Also a combination of 60/20/20 in relation to Carbs/Proteins/Fats, has helped me get the energy I need through carbs to live a normal life (and keep my glycogen stores replenished for exercise), the protein I need for restoration purposes and tissue growth, and lastly fats (all of which are the best the earth has to offer) are in essential to live healthy.

Here's to looking forward to my next weigh in, in a week or so.

Peso:	Disminuído hasta ahora:	Aún para ir:	Dieta seguida:
104,3 kg	5,0 kg	24,9 kg	100%

(5 comentarios) Perdiendo 19,1 kg a la Semana

09 agosto 2010

Just an update to let everyone know that Veganism is a compassionate way of life. Go vegan today! Save lives, and live healthier, happier as well!

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09 agosto 2010

I have begun to count calories again. It is how I lost over 70 lbs. over 2 years ago, and as fate has it, it will be how I lose the unwanted fat I have now, and show the muscle I will gain.

Game on!

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09 agosto 2010

Peso:	Disminuído hasta ahora:	Aún para ir:	Dieta seguida:
107,0 kg	2,3 kg	27,7 kg	Poco

Agregar Comentario Perdiendo 0,1 kg a la Semana

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